Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Dog Ate It! Culprit Behind 0bamacare Web Fiasco Found

[Rational Self–Interest, Reality]

The missing 0bamaware punch card

The White House announced today that the missing IBM punch card responsible for the 0bamacare web site glitches has been found.

It was under Bo's water dish, a senior administration official, who spoke on condition of anonymity. Let me be clear, we think he took it a day or two before the launch [of HealthCare.gov].

The official said that it will be some time before the crucial card, which he described as slightly chewed and showing signs of being slobbered on, will be replaced in the stack that stores the program implementing the President's signature achievement.

We just have to determine exactly where it goes in the 500 million other cards of ... program stuff, the official continued. But once we do, the web site that provides simple and affordable health care choices for all Americans will be running smoothly once and for all. After our new IBM 3090 mainframe has compiled the program and saved it to a ‘bank of hard disks,’ as I'm told the storing thingy is called.

According to sources, dot-matrix printers and punch machines are also being readied to make hardcopy and paper tape backups of the system to prevent another such mishap.

1 comment:

Keith Glass said...

Come now. . . it was OBVIOUSLY Colonel Mustard, who killed Healthcare.gov in the Conservatory with the Lead Pipe.

And then there's the context:

"Colonel" - military and conservative. Obviously a Tea Party Terrorist.

"Conservatory" - MORE conservativism. Likely funded by the Koch brothers.

"Lead Pipe" - indicative of heartless industrial interests peddling toxic goods. . .